now i know you didn’t think you could get through Valentines Day without hearing from me did you? Think again, i’ve actually been wanting to post on this subject for awhile now… but decided it best to wait until Valentines Day when i thought it might get a little more thought and meaning. Lets get something straight first of all, i am a LOVE ADDICT. When Family Force 5 sang that song, they sang it to me baby. But, when i speak of love, i am not talking about the same love that pops into most of your minds. I speak of the love i spread from my heart to yours, i speak of the love of God, i speak of spirit and soul. I do not speak of the kind of love you see in The Notebook. Mostly because at this point and time in my life; I’m not truly certain if i believe it exists. I used to… i’m talking the; finding your missing puzzle piece, one true love and soul mate-love. I believed in the; man riding in on a white horse, come to save the day, you complete me-love. I suppose along the way things have happened to cause me to doubt love. To be perfectly honest at times i feel i’m incapable of falling head over heels in love with anyone. I barely even have a spark of a crush, let alone that lustful passion we all want to have. Truth is, i’m bitter. I know it’s not healthy to have such a pessimistic outlook on love and fate and matrimony and men and relationships. But by that same token, i know it’s also not healthy to put such emphases on those things… to become borderline obsessed with it like i was. Truth is, i’ve grown up. If i’ve learned ONE thing in my 21 years of existence i’ve learned this… you cannot expect for anyone to swoop in and make everything perfect.That simply is just not how it works. First of all, that’s way too much to put onto one person. Secondly, how on earth are you going to truly love another person if you do not first love yourself? In order to have a healthy functional relationship; you need to fall head over heels in love with yourself. You need to be secure in your relationship with yourself and with your creator before you have a relationship with anyone else. Can you afford to let anyone else shape you? Why are you looking around for someone to complete you when you should be looking to God? God has given me this much wisdom to help ease the ache of wanting someone to hold and someone to share reciprocated love with. I need to be able to stand tall on my own before i ever try lean on anyone else… i don’t need an earth crutch if my foundation is on God. Don’t get me wrong, if it exists… i would love to have a love on earth like the ones i see in the movies and read about in those romance novels. I want to feel passion. But i understand that, this is on God’s time… not mine. And until God see’s it fit to drop some poor unsuspecting sap into my life; i need to work on me. I need to just listen to what God wants and try not to worry so much about what i want. Because i think that God’s plan will bring more happiness and peace than any whirlwind romance worthy of a Nicholas Sparks novel. I love you all and i don’t want you to be sad on Valentines Day, I’ll be your Valentine and I’m sure the big guy upstairs is already knocking on the door to your heart with chocolates and a giant card. Be Happy.

I don’t wanna be like Cinderella,
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free.
I don’t wanna be like Snow White waiting,
For a handsome prince to come and save me.
On I will survive.
Unless somebody’s on my side,
Don’t wanna depend on no one else.
I’d rather rescue myself.